No hay recetas para el amor

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PSICOLOGÍA DEL AMAR

Por Fernando Javier Fuica García

Hace poco le decía a mi hijo mayor que, entre otras cosas, nunca como padres nos habíamos involucrado en su relación de pareja, y a la vez le reafirmaba que no hay recetas para el amor. Lo que sí hice hincapié fue que, en una pareja, para poder consolidarse como tal, deben articularse proyectos en común, involucrarse, saberse, escucharse, intimarse, confidenciarse y ser cómplices el uno del otro y, ambos a la vez, de la relación como un todo.

Si algo puedo afirmar, sin temor a equivocarme, es que la confianza y el respeto por la libertad de cada uno no puede ser puesta en entredicho. El ejercicio de la libertad requiere de premisas de confianza mutua, de tal forma que la puesta en práctica de ésta no implique dudas ni incertidumbre. La libertad para Sartre, no es más ni menos que la obligación de tener que elegir en todo momento frente a una multiplicidad de opciones. Somos libres en la medida en que nadie decide por mí. En principio, no le puedo traspasar a otro la responsabilidad de que me reemplace en mi decisión, y si lo hago, debo asumir lo anterior también como un acto libre: me hago cargo de las consecuencias de esta decisión, en la medida en que fue un acto libre.

AMOR INTERIOR

Platón, 24 siglos antes que Sartre, se refiere al tema del amor, en una forma brillante por cierto, en su diálogo El banquete, lugar donde se reúnen varios filósofos a conversar sobre este tema. Por boca de Sócrates, se concluye en el texto que el amor es la generación y la producción de la belleza, conclusión a la que se llega tras escuchar las diversas interpretaciones sobre el tema que plantean los reunidos en torno a esa mesa.

Para fundamentar lo anterior recurre Sócrates a un mito, el cuál señala a grandes rasgos, que el amor es hijo de Poros y Penia, de la astucia y la ausencia; de quien tiene la virtud de las “buenas salidas” y de quien emula a la pobreza. De aquí que Sócrates concluya que “como hijo de Poros y de Penia, he aquí cuál fue su herencia. Por una parte es siempre pobre, y lejos de ser bello y delicado, como se cree generalmente, es flaco, desaseado, sin calzado, sin domicilio, sin más lecho que la tierra, sin tener con qué cubrirse, durmiendo a la luna, junto a las puertas o en las calles; en fin, lo mismo que su madre, está siempre peleando con la miseria. Pero, por otra parte, según el natural de su padre, siempre está a la pista de lo que es bello y bueno, es varonil, atrevido, perseverante, cazador hábil; ansioso de saber, siempre maquinando algún artificio, aprendiendo con facilidad, filosofando sin cesar; encantador, mágico, sofista. Por naturaleza no es ni mortal ni inmortal, pero en un mismo día aparece floreciente y lleno de vida, mientras está, en la abundancia, y después se extingue para volver a revivir, a causa de la naturaleza paterna. Todo lo que adquiere lo disipa sin cesar, de suerte que nunca es rico ni pobre. Ocupa un término medio entre la sabiduría y la ignorancia, porque ningún dios filosofa, ni desea hacerse sabio, puesto que la sabiduría es anexa a la naturaleza divina, y en general el que es sabio no filosofa”.

AMOR INTERIOR 1

Hay una hermosa conexión en este texto entre amor y filosofía. De hecho, si nos remitimos a la etimología del concepto Filosofía, normalmente este se traduce desde el griego como amor al saber. Mas el filósofo francés Jean-Francois Lyotard prefiere traducir amor por deseo: el filósofo desea el saber, lo desea porque no lo tiene. El deseo se manifiesta como la presencia de una ausencia, como algo que se quiere poseer justamente porque no lo tengo. En este sentido el amor es deseo, no se satisface nunca con objetos, sino con metáforas. El amor no es una necesidad, es un estado de búsqueda permanente de cubrir mis propias carencias con la presencia de otro. El otro es aquí el que le da sentido a mi propia existencia. La alteridad es una premisa que subyace a toda interacción intersubjetiva en el plano del amor: yo soy el otro, escribió Rimbaud.

Mucho se ha discutido si el amor es un valor o más bien una actitud, un encuentro, una intersección de proyectos de vida que convergen circunstancialmente producto de los escenarios y las decisiones.

Vuelvo al inicio, no hay recetas para el amor. El amor es una aventura, un desafío, una búsqueda, una perplejidad, un proyecto, un abismo, un dar y ceder, un creer y confiar, un viaje a la incertidumbre basado en referentes inestables. La objetiva ausencia de certeza respecto al futuro no puede ni debe condicionar una aventura que sabemos cómo comienza, pero no cómo termina.

Fernando Fuica García, Profesor de Filosofía y Magíster en Bioética por la Universidad de Concepción, y catedrático universitario en la ciudad penquista, es uno de los grandes estudiosos de Heidegger y del pensamiento existencialista contemporáneo.

AMOR INTERIOR 2

246 Comentarios

  1. Maravillosa intención por definir el sublime origen del amor: Un todo que busca estabilidad entre la astucia y la ausencia…
    No es cierto acaso que el estado de enamoramiento atraviesa siempre ambos extremos…? Ay de los que aman!!!

    Felicitaciones Profesor.

  2. Que extraordinario, quedo estupefacto y anonadado de tu precioso artículo basado en la experiencia familiar, desde donde surgen las verdaderas reflexiones simples y filosóficas como tu lo acabas de hacer. felicitaciones un abrazo.

  3. ¡¡Qué buena invitación a la reflexión!!.
    La idea de Lyotard acerca del amor como «un estado de búsqueda permanente de cubrir mis propias carencias con la presencia de otro», me asusta. No quisiera ser el objeto de un amor así. No quisiera tampoco, que mi bienestar dependiera de la presencia o ausencia de un otro.
    Prefiero pensar al amor como un «algo» que me impulsa a que -en el ejercicio de mi libertad- mi elección sea siempre en favor del otro.

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